28 Grand Later

For those of us who are consumed by food and fascinated by religion, these have been heady times. Barely a week goes by without a fairly remarkable — and sometimes profitable — sighting of Jesus or the Virgin Mary at the breakfast table. Mind you, never are they spotted with knife and fork in hand waiting to be served, but always staring up from an otherwise ordinary bowl of oatmeal or stack of flapjacks.

Perhaps this sort of thing used to happen all the time and, without the benefit of the Internets, there was no reliable way to document these appetizing apparitions. But today we have 24-hour cable news, The Drudge Report, and a seemingly insatiable hunger for The Next Big Thing to E-Mail to your 400 closest friends.

The Virgin Mother of all sightings, of course, was last November’s sale of a decade-old grilled cheese sandwich bearing an image of Mary. You’ll recall that it garnered international attention and, more importantly, $28,000 for its owner, who entombed it in cotton after one bite, put it into storage for ten years and unselfishly shared it with the world — via eBay

Not to rest on her laurels, only a few weeks ago she scored an additional $8,100 by selling the actual skillet that created her miracle sandwich. (One assumes that the Holy Spatula will be offered up next.)

Interestingly, these astonishing sales have created an entire cottage industry of grilled cheese-related merchandise for auction. The Beatles, Elvis, the Olsen Twins and Yoda have all been spotted between the crusts.

Why the frying pan is such a popular portal for the Son of God is a bit of a mystery, but in February a Texas man claimed to see the face of Jesus etched in his skillet http://www.nbcsandiego.com/food/4150919/detail.html. Apparition, hoax or just wishful thinking? This kitchen utensil should be subjected to a Shroud of Turin-like investigation, complete with carbon dating and examination by teams of experts from around the globe.

Of all the Christian comestibles circulating on the Net, the most persuasive comes from a young blogger in New York. Her Virgin Mary Pop Tart leaves little to interpretation or tricks of light or photography. Even the most hardened skeptics among us cannot deny this vision. There’s just no doubt about it — that’s the Mother of Jesus wrapped around a fruit filling.

Laura Parisi One wonders if John Paul II won’t be similarly moved and reappear as a Pope Tart.

For those not content to leave to chance the appearance of a Holy figure in their daily bread, an Australian entrepreneur recently developed a one-of-a-kind Virgin Mary Sandwich Maker, a kind of George Foreman Grill of the Blessed.

He recently attempted to sell it on eBay but it went quietly into the night without a single bid. This, of course, raises the ominous question of whether the market for Holy skillets has simply overheated.

Leave a Reply